Your toddler is a joy to watch. She’s picking up new words, learning new activities, and discovering new things. But with the joyful times comes the misbehaving. Sometimes, it seems you’ve spent all day saying “stop”, “don’t”, “put that down”, “get off that”, etc. Come bedtime, you’re exhausted. But when you have a toddler, punishments are generally ineffective. Toddlers don’t always grasp that the punishment is a result of their actions. Your baby can become confused by your actions. So, what’s a parent to do when their toddler misbehaves? Here are four tips to help when disciplining your toddler.
Try using distraction
I do this all the time without even thinking about it. Actually, most parents do. Whenever you see your toddler about to touch a stove and you divert her attention to something else, that’s using a distraction. The same thing works when your toddler is misbehaving. If she is climbing on the table, pull out the tricycle and let her ride off the excess energy. If she’s drawing on the walls, grab some large sheets of cardboard paper, or a simple coloring book, and ask her to sit with you. You may have to try a few times and with a few different things, but it will eventually work. Remember, toddlers have greater mobility and are curious. They are usually trying new things and punishing them will cause confusion.
Show your toddler the consequences of her actions
If your toddler is old enough, you can begin to show her the consequences of her actions. This will allow your toddler to learn from her mistake. If your toddler keeps pouring out her juice, let her know that she will get no more juice for the day. When my daughter didn’t want to share her bottle of bubbles with her friend, I told her that her friend might go home because she wasn’t sharing. That worked just fine.
Try using time out
Generally, the rule of thumb for time outs is 1 minute for each year of age. So, if your toddler is two, she should only be in time out for no more than two minutes. But remember, for children that young, it will be difficult to keep your child in one place for long. Time outs should be seen as a time to cool off. It will remove your baby from the situation and let her calm down. When time out is over, be sure to give her something positive to do.
One quick note on time outs. My daughter won’t sit still for them, period. I’ve found that if I remove myself from the situation, she will often stop misbehaving. For example, she started hitting me so I said “Okay, mommy will just sit in her chair since you won’t stop hitting”. I sat down and she brought her toys over to me and said, “I’m sorry”. She also stopped hitting. This also goes under the consequences section, but it shows an alternative to using time outs if your child won’t stay put for them.
Use positive reinforcement
If your toddler does something good, thank her for it. When my daughter puts her dishes in the sink, I thank her and give her a hug. When she puts her toys away, I tell “good job”. When she draws only on the paper and not the table, walls, etc., I thank her. Sometimes, a treat comes with it. There is no harm in giving your toddler a treat or something special for doing something good. If you have an older toddler, you can set up incentives. For every good deed, she gets a star. Once she’s reached a certain number, she gets a reward. Positive reinforcements, in whatever forms you choose, help to boost self-esteem and encourage your toddler to continue doing good things.
Disciplining your toddler can be tricky. Your baby is still not old enough to quite understand punishments and is usually exploring or curious. Rather than punishing, try using one of the four tips above. Learning the consequences of their actions and being given positive reinforcement will help your toddler learn from her mistakes. Those are the lessons that will stick with her.
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