Our Toddlers |

Your toddler is a joy to watch. She’s picking up new words, learning new activities, and discovering new things. But with the joyful times comes the misbehaving. Sometimes, it seems you’ve spent all day saying “stop”, “don’t”, “put that down”, “get off that”, etc. Come bedtime, you’re exhausted. But when you have a toddler, punishments are generally ineffective. Toddlers don’t always grasp that the punishment is a result of their actions. Your baby can become confused by your actions. So, what’s a parent to do when their toddler misbehaves? Here are four tips to help when disciplining your toddler.

Try using distraction
I do this all the time without even thinking about it. Actually, most parents do. Whenever you see your toddler about to touch a stove and you divert her attention to something else, that’s using a distraction. The same thing works when your toddler is misbehaving. If she is climbing on the table, pull out the tricycle and let her ride off the excess energy. If she’s drawing on the walls, grab some large sheets of cardboard paper, or a simple coloring book, and ask her to sit with you. You may have to try a few times and with a few different things, but it will eventually work. Remember, toddlers have greater mobility and are curious. They are usually trying new things and punishing them will cause confusion.

Show your toddler the consequences of her actions
If your toddler is old enough, you can begin to show her the consequences of her actions. This will allow your toddler to learn from her mistake. If your toddler keeps pouring out her juice, let her know that she will get no more juice for the day. When my daughter didn’t want to share her bottle of bubbles with her friend, I told her that her friend might go home because she wasn’t sharing. That worked just fine.

Try using time out
Generally, the rule of thumb for time outs is 1 minute for each year of age. So, if your toddler is two, she should only be in time out for no more than two minutes. But remember, for children that young, it will be difficult to keep your child in one place for long. Time outs should be seen as a time to cool off. It will remove your baby from the situation and let her calm down. When time out is over, be sure to give her something positive to do.

One quick note on time outs. My daughter won’t sit still for them, period. I’ve found that if I remove myself from the situation, she will often stop misbehaving. For example, she started hitting me so I said “Okay, mommy will just sit in her chair since you won’t stop hitting”. I sat down and she brought her toys over to me and said, “I’m sorry”. She also stopped hitting. This also goes under the consequences section, but it shows an alternative to using time outs if your child won’t stay put for them.

Use positive reinforcement
If your toddler does something good, thank her for it. When my daughter puts her dishes in the sink, I thank her and give her a hug. When she puts her toys away, I tell “good job”. When she draws only on the paper and not the table, walls, etc., I thank her. Sometimes, a treat comes with it. There is no harm in giving your toddler a treat or something special for doing something good. If you have an older toddler, you can set up incentives. For every good deed, she gets a star. Once she’s reached a certain number, she gets a reward. Positive reinforcements, in whatever forms you choose, help to boost self-esteem and encourage your toddler to continue doing good things.

Disciplining your toddler can be tricky. Your baby is still not old enough to quite understand punishments and is usually exploring or curious. Rather than punishing, try using one of the four tips above. Learning the consequences of their actions and being given positive reinforcement will help your toddler learn from her mistakes. Those are the lessons that will stick with her.

Need more helpful tips? Discover the time-tested parenting techniques already proven by tens of thousands of happy families. Visit: http://www.ourtoddlers.com/goodchild.html

I love my daughter’s crib. I know she’s safe in there and won’t roll out at night onto the floor. But, she is now making attempts to climb out of that crib. Oh dear, I think it’s time to convert it into a toddler bed. Now, when I made the purchase of the crib, I made sure that it converted into a toddler bed. HOWEVER, I want to slap myself silly for not also making sure it came with side rails. Not a big thing since I can purchase them, I just wish I’d made sure of it.

So, how do you know when it’s time to make the switch. Like me, a lot of parents consider it when their toddler attempts to climb out. Others wait and get a screen canopy to cover the top so they can’t. This is good if your baby is still small. But, my 1 year old (almost 2) towers over some 3 year olds, so I think it’s time to make the switch in this case.

If you didn’t buy a crib that converts, you may find yourself staring a good collection of toddler beds with no idea where to start. From wood to plastic, traditional to Dora (yes, Dora!), there is a large variety to choose from. Safety is top priority, of course, but next is style. Try to fit the style of your toddler, if you can. If she’s into Dora, or the Disney Princesses, or even Diego, there are numerous choices for your. If you choose to go more traditional, they have that too.

Here are few ideas to choose from.
http://www.ourtoddlers.com/toddlerbeds.html

I haven’t made the switch yet, but I spoke to friends, neighbors, and mothers in my online group and asked for advice. I wanted to know how to make the switch. Here are some of the tips I received.

Get your toddler excited about getting a big girl or big boy bed. Let her help pick out her new linen and get some new pillows.

In order to keep her in the new bed, you must be consistent. Let her know that she should not to climb of out bed at night. Leave the door open, but use a gate to keep her in her room. Be sure she still has some of the comforts of her crib. (My daughter has a lullaby player on hers so we’re going to keep it.) If she does get out a lot, stay calm and put her back in bed. If you let her get up and stay up, she will continue to do so.

Sounds like great advice to me. Remember though, you know what is best for your toddler. So when it comes to transitioning to the new toddler bed, find what works best for you and be consistent.

Kids are fascinated with insects and worms. When trying to find fun activities for toddlers, consider making a worm farm. With a worm farm, your toddler will learn how worms live in the soil and mix it up.

Before you get started on your worm farm, you’ll need to gather your supplies. Trying using a clear, 2 liter soda bottle, get scissors, water, leaves (and/or vegetable peelings), and try to get different types of soil, preferably soil and sand. Also, you will need worms — of course! Cut off the top of your soda bottle so that you can have easy to access to add the soil and worms.

Add your sand, soil, and your leaves. Add some water, just enough to dampen your layers, and continue to alternate until you’re about a couple of inches from the top, then stop. Now, add your worms. To keep the worms in the bottle and to protect them from too much light, cover with your cloth. If you don’t have a cloth, tape the top of the bottle back on, but try to keep the bottle out of direct light.

Your worms should almost immediately begin digging. In a few days, you and your toddler will see that your worms have eaten the leaves (and whatever else you gave them to eat) and made a system of tunnels. Your toddler will enjoy watching their worms as they make their way through the soil. You can continue to keep your worm farm by adding leaves for food and periodically watering the soil. Or, you and your toddler can spend some time releasing the worms out into the garden. This is also a fun activity, having your toddler help give the worms a “new home”.

Making worm farms is a great activity for toddlers. It’s fun and is a good learning tool as you help your toddler learn how worms live. They also have a chance to learn responsibility as they get to help feed the worms and water the soil. For more great ideas on activities for toddlers, please visit: http://www.ourtoddlers.com/101-tips.html

How many times have you had to repeatedly call your toddler when it’s time for a diaper change, only to be ignored? Or worse, have your toddler think it’s a game and run away to hide? I’ve had to squeeze behind the couch numerous time to get my giggling daughter out for a diaper change. So one day, after calling for the umpteenth time, I decided to try a different tactic. I asked my daughter is she would help me clean up.

A little background on this. My daughter actually likes the act of cleaning up. She sings her clean up song and puts everything away. However, she loves messing up more so the room doesn’t stay clean for long. But, she’s mommy’s little helper. So I figured I would try to appeal to that side of her.

We sang the clean up song and put away items near the diaper changing area. While there, I asked her if she would get me a diaper and she did. I asked her if she would get me the wipes and she did. I thanked her for her help and then asked if she would like to help me change her diaper. Going with the flow, she agreed. I pulled out a couple of wipes and asked her to hold them for me. When I got the dirty diaper off, I asked for the wipes and she was more than happy to help. I sang the clean up song while I worked, got the new diaper on, and we were done!

The next time your toddler runs away from a diaper change, try to incorporate something they like doing into the activity. Or make a game out of it. Have the diaper call out to them for a diaper change!

Is your toddler ready for potty training? Visit: http://www.ourtoddlers.com/pottytraining.html

By Dr. Noel Swanson

Here is the picture: You have just dared to deny your two year old a cookie. So how does she respond? Does she take it on the chin? Does she philosophically and phlegmatically accept that, at times, life sucks?

Not on your life!

What does she do? She screams. She hollers. She cries. She stamps her feet. She rolls around on the floor as though in the grip of blood sucking demon.

Soon the neighbors are banging on the door wondering why you are torturing your child. Then social services arrive. Next thing you know, you are on national television being carted off to jail for child abuse.

Well, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration. But it certainly can get pretty stressful trying to deal with it all.

So what should you do?

The key here, as always, is to STAY CALM. The dynamic is pretty simple. Child wants cookie. Parent says no. Child wants to change parent’s mind, so she puts on a display. This is important to remember: the sole purpose of this display is to get you to GIVE IN.

If you do, then the child learns that tantrums work and, guess what? Next time she will try it again.

So, if you want to eliminate the tantrums, here is what you do: Walk away.

That’s it.

Let her carry on rolling around on the floor. Ignore her. Do not try to pacify her (that would be rewarding it by giving her attention). Do not scold her (same reason). Do not say anything. Just walk out of the room.

If she follows you then, if necessary, lock yourself in the bedroom or even bathroom - anywhere that you can get away from her and completely ignore her. Put on some music, or the vacuum cleaner so you can’t hear her.

The goal is to give her no attention, no feedback, no reward for as long as she is making a fuss.

It is pretty hard to keep up a performance when no one is listening. So if you do this successfully, she will eventually calm down. When she does, THEN give her some attention (but not a cookie!) Reward being quiet, not the tantrum.

But be warned - she might get pretty loud before she gives up, so be prepared to see it through! If you give in before she is calm, you will have rewarded the tantrum and made it even more likely to happen next time.

Just one other point - obviously, before you walk out, do make sure that she is safe where she is. It would not be wise, for example, to leave her unattended, having a giant paddy, in the kitchen with hot liquids boiling away on the hob.

Now, what if she does this in public?

Of course her tactic is even more powerful there, as she can enlist your fear of embarrassment to work in her favor.

The principles, though, are the same. You need to ignore it. You could just walk away and leave her screaming in the aisles while you continue shopping. Or you could pick her up, carry her to the car, put her inside, and then stand outside (with your back to her) until she is calm.

If you have already been doing it successfully at home, she will pretty quickly realize that the same rules apply here, so she should settle down fairly quickly.

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As usual, this week’s newsletter is based on the principles explained in Dr. Noel Swanson’s The GOOD CHILD Guide. If you don’t already have a copy, you can get one instantly from here: http://www.ourtoddlers.com/goodchild.html

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